Tag Archives: lonliness

5 Lessons Through Intergenerational Friendships

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As a younger adult I now have a few older adult friends with a large age gap difference. These relationships came at the right time when we both needed a human friend and fellowship. The friendships just happened without my seeking and took place in a situational type of way.

I’m more open to them now than I was a few years ago when I found them to be a little odd. Who says age matters in friendship? It really doesn’t, we just all have to learn that not everything always has to be in the exact same way when it comes to certain situations. That’s where newness and freshness gives its savor. Below are some highlighted lessons to consider on these unique friendships.

 

1) The quality of friendship is what’s more important. Age difference doesn’t necessarily mean good or bad. It’s what the persons bring in the friendship and how they operate in relationships.

2) There are special qualities that my intergenerational friendships have than those of my peer group and age category . While I’m appreciative of friends of all ages, I do recognize the distinctiveness between the different kinds. These friends have been around much longer and have had more experiences. They bring qualities including double wise advice and sometimes greater perspective.

3) Having a variety of kinds in friendships bring a fun mix and flavor. A positive mix gives a person a chance to evolve in their own way.

4) Sometimes the intergenerational friends have shared experiences and relate in some connecting way. As I talk and spend time with friends of these kinds, I’ve learned that we relate more than I think and can have a wonderful time with our connection. It’s great to have someone who understands and is there for you. Somehow the connection helps both in the friendship.

5) Give the connection a chance, its healthy to have the balance. With certain things we really don’t know if it’s meant to be or can work well unless we give it a chance.

 

  What lessons have you learned through/about intergenerational friendships?

 

 

Called Out For His Glory

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Ever struggled with the reality of being the ‘different’ one? Have you ever wished that the unpleasant and awkward feelings and experiences of being different around others(even other believers) would disappear?

In my transparency I find myself in a place of constantly being called out by God. Now I’m getting used to it, yet it’s very uncomfortable. All humans have longings to be deeply connected and have a sense of belonging and closeness.

Yet you can notice the ones who often stand out, stand apart and carry around the stigmas that come with it. We don’t need pity or sympathy it’s actually something we have to learn to embrace, accept and thank God for. Dwelling on all we have to face and endure is a camp ground for Satan to get a hold of and use for his advantage.

I can relate very much to other outsiders, misfits, underdogs, introverts and outcasts. In fact sometimes those are the types I tend to easily connect with and occasionally click with. More often now, I hear and see others express their observations of these kind of things and the loneliness they experience. When I see or hear a person express it I often want to tell them they are not alone, I understand and pour encouragement on them and support. We are in a world that puts a lot of attention on friendships and relationships and that’s where we have to remember that whatever God allows for us to experience and not to experience is the best thing that can happen. God has the best for us and we must not settle for less. Sometimes the best is not always pretty and acceptable to us or others. God’s ways are higher!

When we are called out by God for His glory these are the situations we need to allow God to mold us and work through us. No we are not better than anyone and we are not less than anyone either. Those in the crowd and other forms of intimate groups  at some point will have to learn how to be separate and possibly in the past have been through the same thing. No need to envy it. Appearances are not always the details of everything. When we feel like we are being pulled away, I believe that’s where we should be drawn more to the Lord. Yes, those feelings of loneliness and isolation will sometimes linger, but God gets the glory for the results that come with yielding in to being called out.

Here are some highlighted points to consider about being called out.

1) You’re being called out to be called in. We need community and fellowship, but sometimes we need to be away from the noise and distractions that come with being mixed in the crowd. How can God work through us if we put people before God and relationships become idols or crutches?

2) God wants to be our everything. The One that is the priority. Friendships with a certain amount of distance don’t  compete with God who  deserves the position and place of being our everything.

3) You stand out as a flame to be on fire for Jesus. There are some things that will cause us to lose our fire if we try to go off the path that God has chosen for us to travel. That fire is not for us, but for the glory of God.

 

 

5 Lessons from Lonliness

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Loneliness… that fog of isolation and insecurity that pours into the heart, mind and soul. You try to change it and escape it, but every time you’re back at that place of emotional distress. Everyone has felt lonely at some point. Some experience it at a greater intensity than others and some even to the extreme. Whichever way a person does, it affects our lives, relationships and even lifestyles. Loneliness can be felt in solitude and it can be felt when around others. I believe the worst feeling and most painful ache is when we are around other people and it won’t go away.

When the laughing and talking surrounds you, but somehow you just have trouble getting in the mix and you always seem to be an outsider. You don’t fit in anywhere or in most cases you appear to be an outcast or loner. To some they may express for you to get over it or brush it off as if they don’t care or it don’t matter to them. I speak and write out for the speakless and writeless.

Loneliness can be very painful. It’s not a sin to feel lonely, but sin can be committed during the experience – if a person yields or gives in to it. Some experience it for a period of time in their lives and others it seems like a never-ending cycle. Below are a few words and lessons to consider.

1) Only God can really meet that need of satisfaction, intimacy, fulfillment and joy. No matter what, anything outside of God will never bring completeness and will have its imperfections and disappointments.

2) Empty and deep voids help display that we have a need that only the Savior can fill. It is through this void the Lord can show his power, strength and provision.

3) Reach out to other people who show signs of loneliness. You can’t remove their pain, but sometimes the person having a listening ear or just someone to keep them pleasant company helps. If we see something and we can help, why not?

4) Distract and throw out negative thoughts. This is something we all have to work on. Satan attacks every human mind. He can use something that may be true to trap and tangle us up.

5) Feeling and experiencing things are apart of being human and living on earth. We can’t escape discomfort, pain and other unpleasant happenings, but we can learn lessons through them. Growth comes through learning and applying.